“Now when I touch my pen, or look within and speak, it comes in boundless waves…”
Paramahansa Yogananda, God Talks With Arjuna
[Paramahansaji withdraws from public life to spend most of his last four years revising and finishing his writings; description of Guruji’s perceptions of Truth as a SEER; the dictation and editing process with Tara Ma and Mrinalini Mata…]
…it was shortly after that [Master’s great samadhi of 1948] that he said, I have to give time now to my writings. Divine Mother didn’t take me…I still have some work to do. He knew that God was calling him to greater seclusion…
So his whole consciousness became absorbed in finishing what he felt Divine Mother wanted him to finish in the way of his writings. He went over the Lessons, he went over many of the previously published articles and writings. He worked with Tara Ma, I know, on the Whispers. And he dictated to all of us [a group of his closest disciples], we all took a turn typing and he would dictate on his manuscripts.
And he would be totally, totally lost, totally absorbed, hours would go by…
I know we were working with him–he had asked us to work on editing some pages that he had done, on a very deep subject of creation–the creation of the universe, plus the creation of the human body. And they were very deep points. And when we would give the papers back to him after typing them, we always had questions because it wasn’t clear to us. And he would dictate something more and it would be typed up, and still it wasn’t clear to us, we would still have another question. And Guruji, I remember, on one occasion he was trying to describe the astral and causal anatomy of the body, the spine and so forth, and we just weren’t getting it, by the physical words.
Then he would say–and this happened on many occasions there at the desert–he would say, “Now I will describe to you exactly what I am seeing,” and he would close his eyes and go into meditation, and then he would define it. And sometimes there would still be a question and he would say, “But you see, it is another dimension, it is another dimension.” He sometimes would give Sanskrit words, but he would say, “This Sanskrit word has a meaning, a very great infinite meaning, which once you have understood it, once you have gone beyond the mind to intuitive perception, then you will understand.”
And I remembered that, and the next day I was working on that particular thing on creation. And suddenly it was as clear as if somebody had turned on a light in a dark room. I was so excited. And I said to the others, “This is what Master means!” And I began expressing it; they were so happy, oh you’ve got it at last! And as I was saying it, they were looking at me with, you know, well what are you talking about? And I heard myself and I was saying the same thing, the same words that Guruji practically had said, but suddenly it meant something. And it was so clear, I don’t know that I could have expressed it much clearer. But when I saw that, then I went back and I worked and I worked and I worked at it.
And later that afternoon Guruji called us over–or actually two of them had taken the papers over to him just a little earlier and I was still working on something, because I didn’t know this until later. They had shown Guruji what had been, the editing, and it wasn’t much. But it was clearer then to them also.
And I remember they called me and said Master wants you to come, Master wants you to come! And how sweetly he said, “See, see what she has done!” And he said some very sweet things. But that was perhaps one of my first intimations of working with Guruji’s writings, or in working with his thoughts. He used to say “Get my thoughts, understand what I mean.”
And that’s where he had such a beautiful relationship with Tara Ma, how he praised her to us…he used to say, he went through such suffering with so many of the editors that he had. I remember one of his common expressions about them, “They’ve made a HASH of my writing.” (chuckles) But Tara Ma, with her he said, “She gets my thoughts.” He said, “It’s not my job to edit. That’s not my responsibility. I am giving the Truth. He said, I am giving diamonds in the rough and God sent me Laurie to do the polishing.” Such was his faith in her. Not that Guruji’s thoughts were rough, but as a SEER, and that’s what he was, that’s the meaning of a seer when he would say, ‘I will go inside and describe exactly what I am perceiving.’ That does not come out an edited manuscript. It is like looking at a vast canvas, and you’re describing facets here and there. Well, then someone must come along and put those facets together to let you know what that picture is. And that is the tremendous confidence and ability that God incarnated in Tara Ma to help Gurudev on that level…
Guruji would sometimes work from dawn, early morning, until the wee hours of the night, just absorbed in his writings.