In [June] 1948 that was when Gurudev had that
…that experience that started in the evening—he called some of us mentally. I was in the office at the time, and suddenly I had the feeling I had to go to Master’s room. I just stopped what I was doing and went up to Guruji’s room. And the door was open; he…motioned to come in. And I could see immediately he was very withdrawn, his face, his eyes, his expression. We had seen that on occasion when he would go into samadhi. And one by one different of the disciples were called, mentally almost, I think most of us were. Daya Mata was certainly there, Ananda Ma, the Lewises were there. And he went into his room, on the chair that is there in his sitting room now, that was in his bedroom at the time. And he called us all in there. We sat on the floor.
And he said to us, “I don’t know what is happening to me. Divine Mother is calling me within. I don’t know if she is going to take me from this body.” And so he sat on his chair and then he went deep into this state of samadhi. And that lasted all night.
He talked to Divine Mother, just an unending flow of conversation all night long. But he said to us afterward, and we saw during that samadhi, that Divine Mother did something unique for those of us who were present. She used his voice to respond, so we were hearing the two-way conversation. When Master would speak it was his voice. When Divine Mother spoke it was a different tone of voice. So this went on all night until about 9 or 10 o’clock the next morning.
I have often likened it to chapter 11 of the Baghavad Gita, the verses that deal with what Guruji called ‘The Vision of Visions,’ in which Arjuna received, through the blessing of Krishna, a vision of the universal form, the many-sided aspects of God, which included not only his transcendental, absolute nature, but also how that one consciousness evolved into all of the forces that brought forth creation, and that brought forth the individual human beings. In other words, the ultimate Truth is that every single thing is nothing but the consciousness of God.
But when you perceive it with individuality, this maya, this hypnosis, cosmic hypnosis that God has imposed on human beings, then you see it as all these different things. And to realize that this is all, all God. The terrible aspects that Arjuna saw of universes and beings being devoured in the teeth (chuckles), symbolically in the teeth, of this Cosmic Lord, and on the other hand, divine things coming out and being blessed…
(Divine Mother Kali, Dakshineswar Temple)
…well, this was much akin to the samadhi that Gurudev had in 1948. He saw God as the Universal Mother, Divine Mother who has both a dreadful aspect, meaning Law. Law works. You break a law, you put your hand in the fire, law says fire burns, you get burnt. And so it is dreadful to the one that has been burnt. And so in the same time, there is the Mother aspect that will take the hand out of the fire and put some unguent on it and say I’m sorry, and kiss it and make it better. So these two aspects of the Divine Mother, Guruji experienced in that samadhi.
And he began to come out of that state. I remember thinking, I think perhaps I was feeling what Arjuna felt after the Vision of Visions and seeing the tremendous God, the Infinite that had expressed in and through that form. And as Arjuna said, oh, he threw himself at Krishna’s feet and said, ‘Forgive me that I ever thought of you as comrade or friend.’ And then Krishna reassured him, showed him that personality, that beloved approachable divine form.
And so that is how I was feeling, My! is my Guru always going to be now in this state? I would be in awe ever to approach him in the same way. And as if in reading the thoughts probably of many of us who were there, he looked around at each of us and he said, ‘I will always be in this state now, but no one will know.’
In other words, he pulled that mantle again around that infinite consciousness, and he became again our beloved Guru, our Divine Father, Mother, Friend.
…it was shortly after that that he said, I have to give time now to my writings. Divine Mother didn’t take me…I still have some work to do.
He knew that God was calling him to greater seclusion. So in his little desert retreat, when he could tear himself away from Encinitas and Mt. Washington activities—after ’48 he didn’t speak regularly as he had always done…and he began to spend then more time at the desert. He used to say…I can do much more now to reach others with my pen. He didn’t have the time anymore to just give one-on-one interviews.
So his whole consciousness became absorbed in finishing what he felt Divine Mother wanted him to finish in the way of his writings. He went over the LESSONS, he went over many of the PREVIOUSLY PUBLISHED ARTICLES AND ITEMS. He worked with Tara Ma, I know, on the WHISPERS. And he dictated to all of us, we all took a turn typing and he would dictate on his manuscripts.
And he would be totally, totally lost, totally absorbed, hours would go by. And we would have to remind him, Master you have been sitting so many hours, shouldn’t you take some food, shouldn’t you take a break? And usually he would say, ‘No, my consciousness is in it. I have to finish. I have to finish.’
excerpt from “In His Presence” DVD
In this very moving and in-depth talk, SRF President Sri Mrinalini Mata recounts uplifting and instructive reminiscences, many never before related in public, of her years with Paramahansa Yogananda. She shares unique experiences of the Guru’s blessings for his disciples then and now and his far-reaching vision for the ongoing fulfillment of the divine dispensation he brought to the world. Contains brief rare motion picture footage of Paramahansa Yogananda and Swami Sri Yukteswar.