I had the great good fortune to visit the ashrams in USA and to meet some of the senior nuns and monks. First time I heard Ma chanting she sang the song “Door of my heart”. Chants help us to contact God. Guruji has said that when he was about to go to America He sat down to pray to receive some response from God as He was afraid of being lost in the materialistic west. He prayed so intensely that He felt His head would burst into pieces. When Ma sang the chant I felt my heart was breaking into pieces. Let us chant the same chant and feel the blessings of Ma…
Guruji’s work in the last few years has expanded tremendously. When Ma came in 1958 the work that Guruji had started because of his long absence had gone down. Ma’s frequent visits, her deep interest, Her deep love for India made Guruji’s organization what it is today.
Many years ago devotees from all over India, would go to Mount Washington and ask for an appointment with Ma and would get to see Ma. But devotees who were living in Los Angeles itself would not get to see Ma. On many of those occasions, when devotees came to see her, she would also call me, so I would have an opportunity to be with her. Once she said, “When I look at the long list of devotees who want to see me, I feel embarrassed.” One devotee said, I put the name on the list 13 years ago, while those devotees who came from India, would say, “I want to see Ma,” and she would say “Come.” Some devotees gave their names long back and when they got to see Ma, they had with them their children, who had not been born when they first gave their names.
In recent years Ma rarely sees devotees. The last time one of the monks, Sw. Hiteshanandji went to USA, she kept telling him I will meet you some time, and just close to his leaving time an appointment was fixed and it had to be shifted because Ma was not keeping too well and again on the last day, she gave him an appointment, but she did not meet him, she could only speak to him on the telephone.
When I went to USA, she conveyed her love for all the monastics and others in India. She said, when she would be feeling a little better she would see me. One month passed, 2 months, 3 months, 5 months and then I became frightened. I was afraid, what happened with Sw. Hiteshanandji could happen to me also. But 5 days before leaving I had the opportunity of meeting her.
That was the most beautiful occasion of my life. The love, God intoxication, kindness, caring, trust in me, compassion and purity that she radiated was something extraordinary. She looked very angelic, very heavenly, very pure, very divine, and it was my rare good fortune to be in Her physical presence. I feel guilty about it.
She was saying she wants to be in India but her body is not ready for it. She again said, she wants to come to India, but Divine Mother wills otherwise. She wants so much to be in India that in her next life she will be born in India. Her love for India is a manifestation of her tremendous love for Guruji. She loves Guruji very much.
I felt guilty to be in Ma’s presence because with the exception of a few of you, many of you in this life may not be able to see Ma in this life. So I say that we can meet Ma in many different ways. I met Ma in 1972, 1973, 1994, 1995, and 2004 and now in 2005.
One way to contact her is to speak to her on the phone. Some of you, especially one who is not here right now, have had the blessing of speaking to her on the telephone. She was at that time terminally ill, in hospital and after speaking to Ma, she recuperated completely.
One way is to see her is to see her with the physical eyes, and to be able to receive blessings from such physical contact. That requires preparedness to receive the tremendous blessings.
There are some who without having physically seen her received blessings more than those who have seen her with the physical eyes. There was one member of a royal family, married for years into a royal family, and she had come to Ranchi. This lady had been badly treated by the members of her family and by her husband and she had spent many hours of each day of her life for 15 years crying. On the night of the day she arrived in Ranchi, she saw Ma in a dream. Ma came to her in her dream and the lady met me the next day and she said, “Ma has removed my sorrow, my pain and suffering.” She has had the contact that many have not had.
Ma told me last time about an occasion, when she was in a gathering of many people and there was one lady, who disliked Ma very much and this lady was loudly abusing Ma, to let Ma hear what she was saying. Ma was shocked at the degree of hatred, but then she switched off her heart away from the degree of hate and put her mind where it habitually was – on God. Ma then spoke to the gathering lovingly and every time she looked at that lady, she sent waves of love to her. At the end of the meeting that lady came to Ma and said, “I am sorry I did not know You until now, I did not know how loving you are.” Ma had looked at that person with divine, unconditional love, unquestioning love.
One way to have Ma’s darshan besides seeing her with physical eyes is to see her in a dream. Another way is to see her on a video, to see her moving, talking, radiating divine love. Yet another way is to listen to her recorded voice. When we hear the vibration in her voice, which gets recorded in the magnetic tape, and we play the audio, something of her presence is behind the audio sound vibration.
Lahiri Mahasaya had given a picture to one of the devotees and told her that if you think it is just a picture then it is just a picture, but if you think it is a protection, then it is so. And then the lightening had struck and the lady had called out to Lahiri Mahasya’s photograph asking for protection and she felt as if a cold sheet of ice had enveloped and protected her and the lightening had struck the book she was reading.
So the audio recording could be just an audio recording or it can be a blessing. Sw. Anandmoyji said, that several years back he heard one of Guruji’s talks. (Most recently, one of Guruiji’s first talks was processed and they tried to remove all the background noise from it. The monks succeeded in removing almost all the noise without touching Guruji’s voice. They let some of the noise remain, going through complicated procedures to let Guruji’s voice remain as it is.) So Sw. Anandmoyji said, that when he heard Guruji’s voice, he felt Guruji’s presence and he felt Guruji saying those same words at that time, and throughout the talk tears flowed down.
I was for 30 minutes in Ma’s presence, and for more than 20 minutes tears flowed down nonstop. A lot of impurity flowed down at that time and from time to time my entire body shook.
Ma can give her darshan in one way by letting you be in contact with something she has been in contact with. Guruji had touched an envelope and Sw. Vishwanandaji allowed me to touch that envelope.
I have brought with me some prasad that Ma has blessed. Ma held that prasad at the spiritual eye and at the heart centre and the prasad was in different packets and she took quite some time blessing the prasad.
Another way to remember Ma is to remember her in our heart, to dwell on her, to remember her nature, how she has lived her life, the divine qualities she has manifested.
Another way to contact her is to keep our attention at the kutastha and to visualize her and think of her qualities. As you do that you will receive the blessings of the saint that you visualize at the kutastha. You will receive the blessings even if you do not feel it. It may not be something phenomenal, earthshaking and extraordinary, but something that changes you from within, something life transforming. We should be interested only in spiritual transformation. Experiences can be created by our conscious mind and they are often not real. They may be imagined experiences. These do not transform us. Real experiences are transforming and subtle and beyond our conscious awareness.
Listening to her on the audio or watching her on the video, touching something that she has touched, etc. may produce or may not produce extraordinary results to the degree that we have devotion, and awareness of Her God conscious state.
Sr. Gyanmata said about Guruji “The awareness of Your God conscious state does not leave me for a minute.” Can we say the same?
Our Guru is an avatar, He is omnipresent, omnipotent, omniscient, all loving. We have needs from time to time and sometimes we need a special push and help to overcome a problem; maybe we have an operation and we want to be sure Guruji is helping the surgeon and everyone else to do the right thing too….Guruji is omniscient. You don’t have to tell Guruji I have an exam coming tomorrow. Does He not know that? Yet you can tell Him, because that helps you to commune with Him. Start telling Him something, He knows you, and knows your problem but by talking to Him you will develop the confidence He is there.
And yet sometimes we feel a little nervous. I was telling my mother to pray for me when I was coming here for the satsanga. I can’t be telling devotees I am afraid of giving a satsanga in front of you. My mother was telling me, don’t be afraid, what is there to fear, have you not given satsanga earlier, Guruji is with you. Still I was a little afraid. When Guruji is there with me I have nothing to fear, still there may be periods when we are anxious, when we are impatient. Tell yourself, why am I afraid, there is nothing that Guruji cannot do, He knows my past, He knows my present, He knows every tremor of my thought, he is all loving, omnipotent. He is all loving. He is personally interested in this person or that person’s welfare. In the welfare of those sitting in the audience and those not sitting in the audience. He is all powerful, all knowing. In addition to being all loving and omnipotent, He is omnipresent. If someone is far away, we feel at times He is far away, how can He help me. Guruji is being here, now, inside my heart, my brain, my body all around me just now. And because Guruji is omnipresent, He is with us wherever we are.
Ma’s blessings can be felt in a different number of ways. One way is to feel her, keep her in your heart and mind and awareness of her God intoxicated state. Before leaving His body, Guruji told Ma, “Be drunk with the love of God night and day, and give that love to all.” Ma is continuously drunk with the love of God, she is in continuous inward absorption of that love, Her stature is that love. Awareness of that absorption of her love brings us blessings.
When I went to see Ma I asked her the first question – how to cultivate love of God. I had heard the answer to this question a number of times, when I had watched her on video or audio talking of the love of God, but I wanted the answer from her own lips, from Her own God intoxicated stature. She is such a cute, little bundle of love. She is cute means loving and she is a bundle of love, means she has no form. She is very sweet, very enchanting, very attractive, very thrilling, beyond description. I told her I have heard you but I want to hear again. As she spoke my heart was filled with that love. Tears were flowing down, my body was shaking, I was totally lost in Ma’s conversation. She said, we must have a deep desire for God, a deep longing in our heart. We can talk to Divine Mother (mother is closer than the father). The little child receives tremendous care from her.
I was reading a cartoon a few days back in which some children were discussing what they would become when they grew up. Each child was saying, “I will become this or that when I grow up and I will do this or that. One little child said, “When I grow up I will be a police officer and I will catch all the thieves and put them in the jail.” The other children asked him, “Won’t you be frightened, as the thieves are dangerous as they carry guns and weapons with them?” The little boy at once replied, “No, my mother will be with me!”
Divine Mother is always with us and yet we get afraid. Tell Divine Mother, you want to love Her. We have the reasoning quality, which is constantly judging. Divine Mother is totally non judgmental. We are saying, this one is good, that one is not good. Tell Divine Mother, I want to love God. Try to remember when did you really want to love God – some months, some weeks, some days ago you remember how you loved God. The mind starts this inner questioning but then the minds says give up all this stupid stuff and go and watch television so that we cannot be with God. Because when you are with God, mind will stop working. You say I want to love God but Maya interferes. You say I had the liking of loving the desire for God. Mind cannot challenge that statement. I have that desire, which I don’t have now. So say that I want to have the desire to love God. As we start talking to God, the liking for the love of God, we realize it has always been there. It has never gone away.
Sr. Gyanmata has said,
“Lord it is my chief complaint,
That my love is weak and faint,
Yet I love Thee, and adore,
O for grace to love Thee more!”
My love for you is weak and faint and not strong, continuous, overpowering as I want to have. Yet I want to love and adore you.
See also~ Daya Mataji’s Last Act ~ Bro. Sevananda
Ma said to me again and again during the meeting, “Cry for God.” The last time she had told me, “Cry for God, and let the tears flow if necessary.” This time she did not have to say that because the tears were already flowing. The tears can be a sign of emotional instability. The only right type of crying, the only right type of suffering, and the only right type of sorrow is the sweet sorrow of separation from God. Master Mahasaya said, “We can always have the sweet sorrow of separation from God, even when we do not feel the love for God.”
When Guruji was very busy with the organizational work, He did not feel for days the love for God, and so when He went into meditation to feel the love of God, God told Him, I have never been away from you. When all the time you want to be with Divine Mother. When you don’t feel like spending your time with anything other than with Divine Mother, there is that sweet sorrow, that pain, suffering, the intense desire, wanting to have the desire to love God. The sorrow that my God is hiding from me. This person is playing hide and seek. The sweetness of the thought that He will never be apart. He loves us, but does not reveal Himself to us. When we cry – “He doesn’t care for us, He does not love us,” in actual fact, at that time we are loving God.
A devotee made notes: Satsanga By Sw. Shraddhanandji (Mumbai) 26/6/05
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